![]() One of our readers asked us to unpack the IFS approach to therapy, and that’s what we’re going to do in this newsletter. Some felt riskier and downright threatening to embrace … each part, however harrowing its acting-out, however hidden, confusing, or painful, had the best of intentions and held helpful messages for me.” Some parts seemed easier to dialogue with than others. In addition to these ‘dark’ or ‘bad’ parts that seemed to want to doom me to repeated patterns and painful habits, there were equally ‘light’ or ‘good’ parts that also required my courage to open to the visionary parts the generous parts the intelligent parts the leadership parts the gifted, sensitive, empathic parts. ![]() Both parts have the same goal: help the person feel safe.Īlanis Morisette wrote about her own experience in IFS therapy in the foreword of Schwartz’s book, “ No Bad Parts”: “In my internal world, I encountered my own murderous rage, my shame, terrors, depression, aches and yearnings, humiliations, and grief. This drinking part may also come into contact with a self-critical or self-loathing part that wants to control the drinking. While this behavior can create real problems in someone’s life, the part driving it may view drinking as a way to protect a person from difficult or scary feelings. You may occasionally receive promotional content from the Los Angeles Times.įor example, many people have a part of themselves that wants to drink alcohol excessively. “These parts are forced out of their valuable roles, however, by life experiences that can reorganize the system in unhealthy ways.” “The IFS Model … views a person as containing an ecology of relatively discrete minds, each of which has valuable qualities and each of which is designed to - and wants to - play a valuable role within,” wrote its creator, Dick Schwartz. And so we become ashamed of those parts.Īn increasingly popular approach to therapy, called Internal Family Systems, is turning this belief of the unified self on its head. Yet most of us in the West have been raised to believe that everything we think, feel, imagine and desire comes from a singular, unified self - and any parts of ourselves that don’t align with that view are seen as sick or damaged. We often grapple with thoughts, feelings and behaviors that conflict with one another. ![]() We speak about different parts of ourselves all the time without thinking about it: “A part of me wants to go out tonight but another part wants to stay in and watch this movie.” Or: “One part of me really loves this person and wants to stay in this relationship but another part of me wants to run for the hills.”
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